Weak: having little physical power or ability; little power or force; likely to break or not work properly; not able to handle weight or pressure
This is us. This is me. I am weak.
My prayer lately (very hesitantly at times…) has been for God to humble me to His majesty, just to the magnificence of who He is. I constantly put God in a box or relate Him to human standards when He blows all of that out of the water. I wanted to see God more everyday for who He is.
While reading through Matthew in my quiet times, I came upon this in Matthew 26–
Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. Matthew 26:41
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.
Yes. So much.
I am willing to lean deeper into God and trust Him with this weird season of life, but my flesh is weak bro. My human instinct says to doubt God, be upset with Him or myself, and to doubt myself. My natural reaction is to go into this stupid pity party mode. You know how your phone has airplane mode and now all you have to do is swipe up and click the airplane? Well unfortunately my tendency is to have a self doubt button that I hit just as quickly and easily. I have been hanging out there in the Rachel Pity Room, Party of 1 for weeks, questioning why God has me here, dwelling on how inadequate I feel, and how things arent’t going the way I thought. Like why?!?! Humanity. Sin. Dumb.
Anyway…back to Matthew 26. At this point in scripture, Jesus is headed to the cross. Verses 36-46 depict Him praying in Gethsemane before He is arrested. In the first few verses of this Jesus is basically like, alright y’all (disciples), I need to go pray, sit here and watch out. Jesus goes and wrestles with God, displays the proper response to God (ya know, just changing the world) and comes back to some disciples sleepin’ on the job. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. They couldn’t even stay awake! Jesus is pleading with God to spare His life, but saying if there is no other way, God’s will be done. He’s willingly headed to the cross right now and they couldn’t even stay awake. This just hit me like a freight train with our need for Jesus. Jesus has paid the debt we owed. We couldn’t even dream up how we might ever pay that debt. We can’t even keep alert when asked. We are weak!
We are dying, decrepit beings and need God. We can do nothing and be nothing without Him. He literally made and beautifully orchestrates it all. Our spirit may want. We may want to resist falling asleep at the wheel in our walk with Jesus. I;m sure the disciples didn’t intentionally fall asleep. We may want to watch out for sin creeping in. Our flesh is weak though! We give in. We miss the mark. That is why we so much need Jesus! We are willing, but without Jesus we cannot. I don’t care what the question is, we are willing, but without Jesus we cannot. We need Jesus to bridge that gap to God for us.
I am humbled by my own humanity and my own weakness. I see my need for Jesus in them. I thankful for those now. God’s using my stupidity and weakness to show me more about Him and who He is. While I’ve been off in la la land, God’s been right there (story of my life). I am so amazed by how He has held my heart and knows me so intimately to know that right here is where I need to be in this weird time in life.
Life is intricately woven by God for your good and His glory. See your need for Jesus and taste and see that He is good!! We are weak and wretched, but with grace we have been saved, and by grace we can live this crazy, amazing life through Jesus that’s been designed and created by God. Like wassup!!!